Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Bored ~to~ Borderline

There are moments when everything seems to stand still... Yes they are still moving, well, under the surface at least. It is certainly not my preference to feel like nothing is heading in any sort of meaningful direction, and then again a seed of awareness exists in me of the power of what is. I have been following the clues today and the internal barometer of feelingness, drifting from bored to borderline emotional until that final straw snapped under the pressure of divine heaviness. Needing to feel the pull of emptiness I suppose, in order to draw the arrow back into it's most elastic end, now ready to launch somewhere.. hopefully over the rainbow!

The hardest thing for me to accept is not having a clear direction or a focus for my doing obsession. Sitting in the discomfort of uncertainty I have had the luxury of exposing some deeper truths about what is in my reality... where is it that I am starting from, right now? I came to realize that I'm closer to zero than my fantasies had imagined. Slightly depressing at first, to think that after all these years of efforting, the external connections and dreams I have for getting my gifts out in the world are still very infantile. The other side of this coin is the freshness of having no expectations or constrictions from without and another moment to re-define myself anew, taking into account my deep desire to serve the curve of where we are heading. Perhaps a brilliant opportunity to lift my awareness into a place of synergy with my soul and my purpose for being here. I often get this feeling that nothing has any meaning for me unless I am connected to the will of the whole and acting from a place of inspiration breathing as one with the divine. I guess it is time to redefine or redivine my relationship with a mission that is so much bigger than the small me.

In my tears today I felt your heart, I felt my longing to know it and to touch it. I am reminded of the reasons for creating the music and singing the songs that touch so deeply. I wish more than anything for the music to be heard; my gift to the world and the universe's gift to me... feeling of use, on purpose and a part of the great turning.

Thank you so much,
Andre, Chief ME

1 comment:

  1. As the rate of vibration increases from a galactic source to Earth, we,physically, mentally, and emotionally have a need to slow down, sometimes even cat nap, for our cells to adjust to the changes. As Mother Earth is responding to the new energy, we, also, as connected beings with her need to keep a calm center and hold space with her.Like birthing contractions, inbreath and outbreath, then chill.Let energy renew for the next step
    Spirit and energy never rest, just dip under our consciousness. Sometimes, doing Nothing is doing Something.