Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Guts to Dream Big

In my dreams last night I found myself in an off-road race. The vehicle wasn't particularly fast and yet without complete presence would easily spin out of control. I watched as the driver in front of me drifted for an instant and spun out into the side wall. It reminded me to stay focused as I raced past becoming one with the bumps and grooves of the track. As I found myself out in front the walls of the track turned into stakes in the ground and the track spread out into a large field like area. I did my best to stay on course as the definition of direction became less and less clear. There was a track, but it looked more like a mismatch of spaghetti, loosely contained by thin flags in the ground. I quickly realized that I had lost my direction and could only now see the track from above. There was no getting back in the race as clarity of the bounds became impossible. I awoke at this point, taking in the vividness of the imagery and yet not grasping the deeper insight to which I am now sinking into.

I spent the weekend at a men's gathering, that two of my dear friends were facilitating. I have been in many workshops over the years and yet this was my first group with only men. There was a powerful quality and safety to it. I have a way of diving right into such experiences and find myself more comfortable in these situations than most of my time in "ordinary" reality. The insight came hard and fast and it seemed almost too obvious to miss. In fact it had been with me for some time and yet I was unable to see it fully in the light. Simply I have been resisting the deep call from my soul to step up to a vision of my work in the world... I would have thought I was on target there, but I realized that I have kept myself safe by keeping the vision within reach. By this I mean the embracing of my dreams has been more short term oriented, like the race track in the dream; great strides towards reachable goals and small successes. And yet it kept feeling like I was lighting a bunch of matches all over the place and never getting a fire going. I saw as in the dream that I needed to define the track ahead of time. I am responsible for owning the direction of my manifestation in the world. I guess it comes down to having the guts to dream big enough and then the compelling reason to act shall come naturally out of the congruence between my dreams and my soul drive.

Before the weekend these pieces started to congeal. Victor Wooten was here in my backyard giving a workshop at the Haven and then a concert on the last night. For those that aren't familiar with Victor, he is arguably the premier Bassist in the world. I had been aware of him through a friend, but I'd resisted signing up for the workshop in the uncertainty of where we would be and such. Along with my indecision the concert also sold out rather quickly, and I had not really felt the impulse to go... Until my friend Duncan gave me a copy of his book to read a couple days before the show. It is called "The Music Lesson" and it had been a while since I sank into a book and I was in need of some inspiration. It took about 2 pages and I was completely hooked. I must say this book changed my relationship to music and my life page by page. It is like The Way of the Peaceful Warrior for musicians. Truly sparked I read though it and finished the day of the concert, and now was clear that I had to be there. Of course they said no tickets were available and some friends also came up short in finding me one, despite the right connections... So Missy and I decided to give up and just stay home.

Ha, ya right! Are you still paying attention? I saw in my minds eye earlier in the day that I was there at the show. Didn't worry about the how or what, and decided if I really couldn't get in that I'd listen from outside and just pick up some of the energy. We drove over there in what can only be described as perfect timing or divine timing, got out of the van and a woman with a flashlight stopped and asked us if she could guide us in. I notice that when an angel like this shows up they often give themselves away. She saw our license plate and said "oh where are you from, ahhh British Columbia?" as if it were a foreign dimension and then asked where and we said "right here, Gabriola." It was as if she just arrived... and then walked us to the entrance.

As we approached the door to the venue the first notes rang out the door from Victor's bass, and the door was open for us. We thought we would just keep going and entered slowly. As we stepped in we were greeted by a dear friend we hadn't seen for a year or so and embraced. She asked if we had tickets and we said no. She then said they had been turning people away in hoards all night. Then pointed to a man just in front of us and said he had an extra ticket he was trying to sell... Imagine that! She then checked in and decided that we could both stay. We danced a minute and then sat down directly center stage at the back. I felt like it was all orchestrated for me. So divine and so wonderful watching music and spirit come together through Victor's hands. As he says in his book music herself was there, coming through as he allowed himself permission to let go, perhaps make a mistake or two only to find more magic on the other side.

Deep Gratitude,
Chief ME

1 comment:

  1. Ahh, Life in the Jetstream, ain't it wonderful