Bored ~to~ Borderline

There are moments when everything seems to stand still... Yes they are still moving, well, under the surface at least. It is certainly not my preference to feel like nothing is heading in any sort of meaningful direction, and then again a seed of awareness exists in me of the power of what is. I have been following the clues today and the internal barometer of feelingness, drifting from bored to borderline emotional until that final straw snapped under the pressure of divine heaviness. Needing to feel the pull of emptiness I suppose, in order to draw the arrow back into it's most elastic end, now ready to launch somewhere.. hopefully over the rainbow!

The hardest thing for me to accept is not having a clear direction or a focus for my doing obsession. Sitting in the discomfort of uncertainty I have had the luxury of exposing some deeper truths about what is in my reality... where is it that I am starting from, right now? I came to realize that I'm closer to zero than my fantasies had imagined. Slightly depressing at first, to think that after all these years of efforting, the external connections and dreams I have for getting my gifts out in the world are still very infantile. The other side of this coin is the freshness of having no expectations or constrictions from without and another moment to re-define myself anew, taking into account my deep desire to serve the curve of where we are heading. Perhaps a brilliant opportunity to lift my awareness into a place of synergy with my soul and my purpose for being here. I often get this feeling that nothing has any meaning for me unless I am connected to the will of the whole and acting from a place of inspiration breathing as one with the divine. I guess it is time to redefine or redivine my relationship with a mission that is so much bigger than the small me.

In my tears today I felt your heart, I felt my longing to know it and to touch it. I am reminded of the reasons for creating the music and singing the songs that touch so deeply. I wish more than anything for the music to be heard; my gift to the world and the universe's gift to me... feeling of use, on purpose and a part of the great turning.

Thank you so much,
Andre, Chief ME

Stucture and Flow

I've been having this reacuring metaphor come up as we prepare for our next Move Freely, Live Deeply event on Sat. Missy has been working a lot with structure and finding how it can aid in flow, where the assumption often says that flow and structure are opposed. For example by planing out life you would perhaps guess that the option of "living in the flow" may be limited... I used to think this was true and have come to believe otherwise.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not much of a planner, and probably never will be, but structure can come in many subtler forms and in this lies a key for combining magic and direction. Imagine a river as it flows towards the ocean. all along its path are banks which keep it contained within a certain course. Imagine for a moment that those banks were permeable and unreliable. The once strong river could be reduced into a scattered flood, or swamp rather quickly. This is often the end result for a river as it reaches its goal spreading out vastly into the arms of the receptive ocean.

In this metaphor I can really grasp the benefit of having some structure, as it relates to carving out the life you desire. Every detail is not important to know in advance and impossible to grasp anyway... but the constraints of vision and purpose can become the steady banks guiding you to a broader expansion and connection.

I personally love to open to the perfect flow in life, whether it is slow as molasses or fast as a raging river. All of the dimensions of such an experience offer there own unique blessings and perspectives. Expansion and contraction are both natural in the flow of intuitive living, and the embracing of what is can cure suffering in a hurry. My goal is to have an inner drive of purpose and vision, perhaps manifesting only as a feeling, but enough to guide me into the arms of the divine union of the small incarnate ME with the infinite wisdom and connection of the universe and all that is. It is like accepting all the power and magnificence that you are while being immensely humbled by the perfection of your place in the whole.

(Painting by Ted Hayward... see link on right!)

Love and blessings,
Chief ME

Be Do Have

I must say I've been feeling slightly bloggy lately. And I mean that as a good thing. It is an experiment to explore the boundaries of my own transparency, authenticity and leadership. All very interesting edges to rub up against.

I was snapped back into my being today by the carefully placed, and beautiful words a very good friend shared. The kind of friend that is of the highest caliber, of which I am blessed to have many. He reminded me of the prevailing paradigm in the world after he reflected the paradigm I have been living and learning to navigate more permanently. He summed it up as follows: First comes being, then doing flows naturally out of being, and having emerges naturally from the genuine flow of inspired doing.

It was the breath of fresh air I had been needing to hear.

The opposite is of course the prevailing wind in our world: having, and the desire to have creates a need to do, in order to support the efforts of having and then being can come later after the pile of having is high enough.

I realized so clearly in that moment the difference in my body and emotional state when I am acting from those two paradigms. In the being first model I am relaxed, trusting, perceptive and joyous. In the have first model I am thinking heavily about how I can figure it out and create a mental picture that might satisfy the deeper part of me that needs freedom in being.

The freedom is the reason for my drive and passion. Without it as a foundation I flounder in the midst of someone else's dream. And simultaneously, so close, is this deeper, broader more fluid dimension, emerging effortlessly as the pond becomes still enough to see through.

I love the fact that intentional words and sounds can harmonize so deeply with another's heart and being. Thank you so much for giving yourself the permission to take in these words.

I love you,

Chief ME
(in charge of being myself)

Poetic Interlude

Can is a term I used to use,

when days were round and nights were blue.
"This picture gives a thousand words,
when all I need is air" says the bird.
Have you got a piece of distance

for this one disarming instance?

As a Rapid engaging of the aging witness,
while he remains blind to the raging wildness
"It is music" says the rainbow, to the wind in my ears,
"It is calming" says the heart of such meaningful tears.
And it still just blows right on by,
it is as still, as the memory
of the sound between the years.

Chief ME
(in charge of being myself)

Seas of Opportunity

Opportunity is today's magic word. We are all here together in this amazingly complex time and space, deciphering the point at which to focus our precious and sacred energies. Also there are moments where we have no clue and drift like children through experience as if on our grandfather's sailboat, nurtured and safe, waiting for our turn at the rudder. There is no advantage however in steering the boat until we are able to see where we are going. Yes we will practice how to turn and what to adjust when the strong winds come, but within the bounds with which we can understand and handle.

Collectively I see us emerging into a new level of responsibility. Our grandfather is aging and cannot see like he used to. The channel is so much deeper and wider than when he started his journey, and there are new options for the sailor. It is the moment of opportunity, to take the responsibility of where you are and where you are going.

So how does one decide? You may ask. I know that I am always asking, and in that lies a clue I believe. Every moment is your perfect mirror, an opportunity to receive and feel the reflection of the reality which you have been creating. Ooops, in case you have trouble with that idea I will say this: fundamentally there is no out there... everything we perceive is occurring within us as our perception of the reflection of light, sound and other energies interacts with our consciousness or individual reference point. We are not separate from the sea of potential being perceived. Everything is a part of this connected field of energy, and this includes you, your personal reference point of experience in time space. There is no other, only infinite view points of the whole from every perspective imaginable.

Whoa sounds kinda complicated and then what? I would say there is simple solution to a complex problem. The only reliable gauge of direction for an individual is within you. It is a new way of navigating life, not based on the collective assumptions of what is important, safe and meaningful, but on your own unique individual guidance, your pulse of excitement. Now don't get me wrong, this is not just a selfish,narcissistic excitement, or wanting, which we probably know very well. I'm talking about the quality of excitement that has some fear with it, the kind that you make excuses about why you can't or rationalize away. If you look at your life as a journey of happiness, creative expression, love, wonder and abundance, I doubt you will create it from a traditional, rational, societal course of action....(well unless that really turns you on). We are entering a new paradigm of what it means to be human. An age of authenticity and empowered action, from our deepest yearning which is the piece of the whole we came here to share, a piece that will be greatly missed if you decide to go back to sleep.

Much love and gratitude for sharing this journey with me!
Chief ME
(in charge of being myself)

Guitared and Feathered

The one thing that can be counted on in life is the unexpected. A sudden re-direction or unseen option becomes a clear front runner for the new now that was not part of the plan. This is one particular reason why I don't like plans too much. I do believe they offer some value to certain individuals like say ...Wayne Gretzky who was born with his skates on (not sure how his mom handled that?). In such a situation you would want to get off to a fast start and keep your stick on the ice... in this case a plan gets you where you want to go, knowing the destination, the journey unfolds.

I must say that during inspired moments I too know such a certainty within myself. And yet it has a newness that is uniquely mine. Sure, my life path is influenced by many others who have blazed a trail for my emergence, and yet I find myself constantly redefining what it means to be me, and to offer this expression to the world. It always comes back to a drive for authenticity, and the compass for that is an internal knowing that each of us possess, as we feel our way through life and how open we have been with our experience of it. When it feels good and empowered, exciting and clean, it means you got it right.

So when we found ourselves in the space between the worlds, sitting on the group W bench in the customs office at the US border last week, I quietly payed attention to my non-attachment to any particular outcome. Yes we had packed a whole lot of crap into the van and had just moved out of our house and opted for temporary storage instead, not to mention the 5:30am wake-up and subsequent millisecond miss of the ferry to the mainland... But hey this was the next thing and I was fine with it. So we waited in the lounge as our young US escort went through our things.

Shortly thereafter he came back into the office and slowly lifted his black gloved hand above the counter... "Do you know what this is?" holding up the dried and lacquered head of a poppy that my friend had just given me as part of my eclectic instrument collection.
I replied easily "It's a shaker".
He giggled but was less amused... "In the eyes of the US government?" he added.

Well suffice to say we are not on America's most wanted list, but I'm a little pissed I lost that little gem. He did however add "I can see what you are up to there, and it does have a smooth sound".

Hilarious. At any rate he had let us through except for some CD's that I always have with me, which he suggested I take to the broker and have them do some of their special paperwork to make them legit to carry in. Turns out that we just needed to spend some time talking with a wider range of border patrol and really get a feel for the community...
Our option was to just drive back into Canada and mail them home. So we did, and then started all over again. Not quite what I was hoping for, but interesting none the less. Unfortunately there was a shift change while we were out, and this round was serviced by the men with serious faces.

So we waited again, and waited, this time for over an hour, until he called us over as he held up Missy's macaw feather wand. Unbeknownst to us, macaws are on the endangered list and apparently bringing feathers back into the US that we had originally received there was cause enough to bring in the expert from the department of fish and wildlife. Man I was starting to feel like a star with all this special attention! Anyway he made us fill out an import form for the feathers and also an abalone shell we have for smudging (also from the US). Then we assumed alright shows over and time to get on with our journey.

Well not so fast. "Yes", our fine officer friend said, "we will let you in, but without your work related items". We of course said "well what items?"
"Related to this!" As he again did the black glove thing, up from under the counter. (they must practice that move?) And held up one of my business cards. "No guitars and feathers".

I must say he did a fine job and had due cause for concern. Irony is that we were not even working this trip. So we decided to head home to re-group and reassess after such a 180 degree turn. On the way back into Canada it hit me, we were just guitared and feathered! Just like ancient times, just a little less permanent.

Little gold nuggets everywhere, even in such a shit storm. Thing is that all is perfect at all times, it just takes a bit of perspective widening to get it in some situations. This turn gave us a chance to examine some of our shadows around being stationary right now and to put energy in some of the things we were neglecting. The best gem though, is to know that wherever we are is exactly where we need to be.

I've started to plan a special CD release show in Nanaimo at the Church @the Old Quarter. This has been a dream of mine for a few years and I realized that the time is NOW. I'm working on the cover for "Welcome to the Main Event" and my "plan" : ) is to have the show around my birthday in early May or late April. Plus more Move Freely, Live Deeply which has quite the buzz around it these days! This year is the launch after all!

Love and Blessings
Chief ME
(in charge of being myself)

The Launch

A mystery has crossed the line
And we no longer struggle to see
What was once a dream is now
A fabric of dimensions beyond the prelude.

The journey into authenticity is well under way and it is emerging as a new form of currency, the movement of flow, and energy without effort, a tapping into the river of right relation. In this new home we have the courage to answer the calling of ourselves, to begin the listening to the guidance of our wholeness.

It has been a few weeks since I’ve written you. I have taken a period of isolation to finish the 3rd album in my trilogy of solo creations, “Welcome to the Main Event”. I’ve just had the first few listens through the whole thing, and it is quite a journey. Upon completing it I realized that it was the culmination of this trilogy of albums I have done since 2006. It is long, deep, vulnerable, smooth and celebratory. The album ends with a song written spontaneously as I sang through the new year with some of my closest friends on Gabriola, and recorded on new years day. This was an experience I will always cherish very deeply… It was like we opened a portal into the Launch of 2010 and rode it right through the shift, celebrating on the other side. It was so beautiful.

This brought such completion to our last ten years here on Gabriola and a huge clarity of the energy which we are amidst creating for this coming year. It feels like the foundation is strong enough to hold the incredible amount of joy and wonder we are going to step into this year. I wish so deeply that you will join us on this mission, this launch into your authentic glory.

Imagine for an instant that everyone began choosing based on their, excitement, their hearts desire and deepest longing. Imagine that they valued the call of their inner voice above the pressures of fear and uncertainty. Imagine the absolute pandemonium of joy and wonder that would multiply beyond our wildest dreams, the magic of honesty, clarity and unique individual brilliance guiding us together in a new dimension of coexistence.

I’ve been imagining it so much it appears to be just that. A deep well of precious gifts for all that dare take the responsibility to accept them. A synchronistic sharing of humanity between family and friends, fathers and sons, mothers and their emerging daughter goddesses, and the amazing gratitude that flows from such miracles.
We are changing the game.

Missy and I continue to accelerate down the road of our chosen awesomeness into the next phase of our life adventure. We wish that yours be even more inspiring and may your many ripples create huge waves that crash onto the shores of our connected yearning.

Follow your excitement!
Chief ME (in charge of being myself)